Anxiety on the Edge of Forever

admin Deaf And Deaf Culture, Getting Personal, Mental Health, Poetry, Social Issues, Tourette Syndrome 5 Comments

This poem was written because I was inspired by a woman who spoke so eloquently about her own battle with Anxiety and I recognized myself in every word she said.

So I’d like to share this new, personal creation with you:

Anxiety on the Edge of Forever

By Shawn Jackson

It seeps into my dreams and thoughts

Painful visions and silent sounds

And I feel like all is for naught

The fears that sting, the tears that drown

The hopeless abandon of confidence

The weakened, lost and unjust betrayal

Of a heart that’s jumped the fence, hence,

Why I cannot keep on the straight narrow trail

The slave I am to these fears, unwanted

Irrational and unmerited, tears haunting me

And I try to turn, to smile, to will away the haunted

Eyes of things and people existing soundly…

Nowhere

Am I enough, alone to combat, to defeat it,

Slay this monster, this villain, this foe, this enemy?

So that I can be loved, held and cherished,

Looked up to, seen, and say to myself, “I love me”

No, perhaps it is too late, too bright a picture to paint

Perhaps I should have not said “Hi” or smiled so much

No, perhaps I should have just sat down, nice and quaint

Yes, I should have … says the silent voice’s cold touch

Retreat, retreat on this weekend, weakened

Sitting, lying in this fear on the edge of forever

Retreat, retreat but I want to speak it

Stand up and my voice say it loudly forever

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